Article in progress. Obvs.


Location: Capital City, Architect's Firm
Trigger: Speak to Architect

You'll find the Architect's Firm in the bottom-right corner of the western half of Capital City. Speak to her about recruitment and the Architect will offer to rebuild the Moonbucks in Home Town for $1,000. Once you've forked over the money, make the trip over to the newly-restored Moonbucks in Home Town and speak to the Architect inside to put her on your team.


Location: Capital City, Eden Industries
Trigger: Speak to Artist

You'll find the Artist on the second floor of Eden Industries, in the southeast corner of Capital City. He asks that you locate five of his pieces of art, spread throughout the world, before he joins swords with your party. They're in the following locations:

  1. In the southeastern room of the first floor of the Capitol Building.


Location: Home Town, Bakery
Trigger: Enter the Bakery

Upon entering the Bakery for the first time early in the game you'll see the Opposition Leader bullying the Baker. Beat up the Opposition Leader (he's the first boss), then come back to the Bakery and speak to the Baker to recruit him.


Location: Moonbucks, Home Town
Trigger: Speak to Barista

The Barista is tending bar in the Moonbucks near the VP’s House. Speak to her and ask about Special Blend, or try to recruit her straight up, to trigger this quest. She needs a Special Blend before she'll join your team; you can get one from Decaffitators. Stall while fighting one for several turns (three or four should do it) and it'll force you to purchase a Special Blend for $50. If you've already destroyed Moonbucks, use the School's VR Arena.


Location: Home Town, Soda Shoppe
Trigger: Speak to Bartender at his Shoppe

Though you’ll initially meet the Bartender in Moonbucks, you can’t recruit him until you go to his Soda Shoppe in the far south of Home Town, to the east of the Hospital. Try to recruit him and he’ll challenge you to a soda drinking contest. 

To complete the contest you must guzzle 50,000 ‘points’ worth of soda over a series of progressively more difficult levels. Tap your button when the gauge in the middle of the screen is green; lay off the button whenever the gauge turns red. Each successive level requires less arm work to get through, but the gauge will turn red more often. Take your time, ignore the clock, and just work on not hitting the button whenever the gauge is red, as you’ll lose a lot of points. Once you get about 50,000, stop playing the game altogether and wait for time to run out. The Bartender will join when you’re successful.


Location: Moonbucks, Home Town
Trigger: Leave Moonbucks

Enter and leave Moonbucks for the first time. The Bodybuilder will swagger up and challenge the VP to combat at the Gym, which you can’t reach until you’ve sent Moonbucks a-flyin’. Once you have, head to the southern half of Home Town and look for the Gym in the southeast. The Bodybuilder is waiting, and he’ll challenge you to a weight-lifting contest. Ask him about the sticky notes on his barbells, then swap the notes (red on the smaller weight, green on the larger weight).

This will get you through round one. Now the Bodybuilder demands a pose-off. He’ll stand near the mirrors to the north and flex. As soon as you regain control of the VP, run around the rear of the mirrors and line the VP’s head up so it’s parallel to the Bodybuilder’s reflection, which, conveniently, has no head. This will trick the Bodybuilder and get him on your team. You need to move quickly, and get the head lined up at a good angle (I found facing to the right works best) for this to work.


Location: Home Town, VP's House / FedUPS Office
Trigger: Speak to Brother

Talk to Brother on the second floor of the VP’s House shortly after the game begins. That done, go downstairs and check the present on the kitchen table. Talk to Brother again to finish the quest.

Camp Counsellor

Location: Mount Pom-Pom; Capital City (North); Grasslands (southern bluffs)
Trigger: Speak to Camp Counsellor

You’ll find the Camp Counsellor by the water’s edge in the northwest of the first section of Mount Pom-Pom. He wants to join up, but he needs to complete his final merit badge first. To do this you’ll have to complete twenty Challenges. You can check your Challenges from the System menu. He'll join up once you have twenty, regardless of where you are when you find him.


Location: Just about any dock in the game
Trigger: Speak to Captain

The Captain likes to linger along the seaside, though the only place you should probably speak to him is at Camp Koo-Koo, to the west of Home Town. He's standing by the dock on the Camp's southwestern map, and he'll ask you to tame the Ogopogo - which, conveniently, is waiting at the end of the dock. Defeat the beast in battle, then speak to the Captain again to get him on your team.

Car Salesman

Location: Crystal Beach, Car Lot; Capital City, Residence
Trigger: Speak to Car Salesman

You’ll find the Car Salesman on his lot, just east of the exit to Home Town. Speak to him and he’ll challenge you to a race. The race is a five-lap zip around a square-ish section of track, pitting you against twelve other cars. Using Energy (three max) will give you a speed boost. If you run your car into the other cars you’ll get into a battle; use High Beams to blind the other cars, then smash ‘em around with Door Slam. Use Tune-Up should your health get too low. Nitro Rush can one-hit other cars, but it also wastes Energy better spent on racing.

Be extremely aggressive in attacking other cars and this minigame won’t be too difficult. You’ll have the option to demolish the Car Salesman’s car in this minigame, but unless you have more than half HP left I wouldn’t recommend trying, as it’s quite powerful.

Cat Lady

Location: Residence, Home Town; Capital City, city square
Trigger: Speak to Cat Lady

Found on the first floor of her beige home (north of the VP’s House), the Cat Lady needs you to track down her five cats before she’ll join the team. They’re in the following locations:

Conspiracy Guy

Location: Moonbucks, Home Town / Police Office
Trigger: Speak to Conspiracy Guy

You’ll find Conspiracy Guy at the Moonbucks next to the VP’s House, by the counter. Agree with his many crazed assertions about the coffee and he’ll head off to the police station. He asks you to find Evidence of a coffee-based conspiracy, which you’ll find in the form of aggressive Java Beans. They’re in the following locations around Home Town:
  • Just south of the Bakery
  • Northeast of the Bakery, next to a blue car
  • North of the VP’s House, beside a beige Residence
After finding all three pieces of Evidence, go to the Police Station and speak to the Cop. She’ll set the Conspiracy Guy free, and he’ll join your team. Check his prison cell after he’s loose for the Dayvision Goggles, as well, which are for Conspiracy Guy specifically.


Location: Home Town, Police Station
Trigger: Speak to Cop

The Cop is behind the desk at the Police Station. Speak to her about recruitment to trigger her quest, then forget about it until after you complete Chapter I. Once Moonbucks is gone, return to the Police Station and admit to making the place disappear to trigger a series of four fights: one against a single Officer, one against two Officers, one against three, and one against the Cop herself.

The Officers are no big deal, but the Cop can inflict mass amounts of damage with her non-lethal bullets. Upgrade your defences, keep your guys healed (above 20 HP should be safe), and smack away at the Cop every other turn to avoid wasting attacks on her riot shield. She’ll join you in the aftermath.


Location: Appleton Farms (south)
Trigger: Speak to Exterminator

The Exterminator hangs out in a few locations, but the only place you can recruit her is at Appleton Farms. Travel there and she'll ask you to protect an apple-covered trees from a bunch of bugs. Squash said bugs before they can reach the tree. Kill enough and she joins you. (Note that the counter carries over between attempts, so you will, eventually, win the day.)


Location: Grasslands (center)
Trigger: Speak to Farmer / Begin the quest Going in Circles

The Farmer lingers in the midst of the Grasslands, one screen east of Capital City. Chat with her and she'll mention a problem with crop circles. Wait until 9 pm, then search the Grasslands to find Moo F.O.s floating about. Destroy five of them, then speak to the Farmer again. She'll send you to Appleton, located north of Crystal Beach and in the northeast corner of Big Steppe. Once there, speak to the non-hostile Moo F.O. in the southwest of Appleton, then return to the Farmer to complete her quest.


Location: Home Town, Fire Station
Trigger: Speak to Firefighter

You’ll find the Firefighter’s Fire Station south of the VP’s House, in the southern half of Home Town. The Firefighter won’t join you on the spot, however - she has a job in Flushmoor first.


Location: Capital City, Hotel
Trigger: Speak to Gambler

You'll first find the Gambler on the top floor of the Hotel in Capital City (southeastern building on the first screen). He'll mention wanting to go to a Casino or somethin'.


Location: Capital City, outside Capitol Building
Trigger: Speak to Gardener

The Gardener is standing to the right of the entrance of the Capitol Building, but she mentions having to landscape the President's home.


Location: Home Town, Residence / Hospital
Trigger: Speak to Handyman

The Handyman is in a white house to the north of the VP’s House. Speak to him and he’ll talk about needing to get to a job to the south - one that’s blocked by, why, none other than blockades. After you’ve gotten rid of Moonbucks and can head south, go to the Hospital (southeast building) and take on the Heckevator inside. If you manage to reduce its HP to zero it will spit you out onto the fourth floor, where the Handyman has been trapped.

Homeless Guy

Location: Capital City (north)
Trigger: Speak to Homeless Guy

The Homeless Guy is in the far north of Capital City, through a busted fence between two buildings. He'll ask for money. Give him $5 twice, then $100 on the third go, to secure his loyalty.


Location: Home Town, southeastern dock; Crystal Beach, cabana beach
Trigger: Speak to Lifeguard

The Lifeguard watches over the southeastern beach of Home Town’s lower half. She’ll tell you that she’s willing to consider joining up once she’s on duty at Crystal Beach. You’ll find her south of three cabanas, down on the sand, and when you talk to her she’ll say she’s concerned about a giant squid watching over a bridge to the northeast.

Once you beat up the Squid she'll ask you to go underwater (Seabottom, specifically) to deal with Safety Squid more permanently. Use her Recruit option to enter Seabottom, check to the northeast of the entrance to find the Squid, beat him to a pulp, and return to Lifeguard to recruit her.


Location: VP’s House, Home Town
Trigger: None

You’ll find Mom on the sofa in the VP’s House. Turn off the TV and she’ll join you.


Location: Home Town (south); Crystal Beach (east); Capital City, Eden Industries / Residence
Trigger: Speak to Musician in Eden Industries

The Musician travels around a lot, but you can only challenge him on the top floor of Eden Industries in Capital City (southeastern corner of the city). He'll challenge you to a game of Guitar Hero lite, in essence - all you have to do is match the directional arrows that travel towards the box in the centre of your screen. Good reflexes are necessary to complete this quite-repetitive challenge. Get 80,000 points to win his fealty. (You can stop once you hit 80,000, too. Keep going and you'll risk losing points and losing.)


Location: Home Town, Pharmacy; Capital City, Bistro
Trigger: Speak to Pharmacist

The Pharmacist is found in his Pharmacy, next door to the FedUPS office. Ask him about recruitment to trigger the quest. He’ll tell you to come back later.


Location: Outside VP’s House, Home Town
Trigger: Speak to Photographer

Though she’s standing just outside the VP’s House, the Photographer wants you to put his royal politicianessnessness in a few photo ops before she’ll join the party. They’re in the following locations:
  • On Mount Pom-Pom. Northeast of the entrance you’ll find a small pond with several waterlogged cars. Cross the cars to get a photo taken.
  • Somewhere with water. (Coming soon.)

Location: Drive-In
Trigger: Approach the screen in a car

The Pilot appears in a large number of areas, and is handy for rapid transit early on, but to get her in your team you need to head to the Drive-In. It's in the north of the Grasslands, to the east of Capital City. Once here, put the Car Salesman in your party and hop in his car, then drive towards the screen.

This will plop you into a mini game where you're stomping around as an enormous version of the VP and his party. Destroy enough buildings before the minute-and-a-half time limit is up and you'll wind up back in Capital City, where you can then recruit the Pilot. (If you're having trouble reaching the 45,000 points on the mini game, walk around in zig-zags to bring down as many things as possible, and always sprint. Yes, despite how slow you appear to be walking, you can still run here.)


Location: Home Town, School; Capital City, Eden Industries
Trigger: Speak to Programmer at Eden Industries

Though you can find the Programmer in several places, you can't really hope to recruit him 'til you find him at Eden Industries, in the southeast of Capital City. Speak to him on the third floor and he'll ask for your help in taking down some viruses in his computer. Once inside, head north through the computer, fighting off Viruses, until you see the Programmer strolling along. Shortly after he's done walking he'll pull you out of the computer and join your party.


Location: Home Town, Hospital
Trigger: Speak to Psychologist

You’ll find the Psychologist on the third floor of the Hospital, in the southern half of Home Town. Ask him about recruitment and he’ll offer to put the VP through dream therapy. Agree and you’ll be shunted to a weird dream world, where several familiar faces are waiting. Speak to Mom first, then Brother, then Mom again, then the President, then Mom again, and, finally, the Opposition Leader. Talk to Mom one last time to wake up. The Psychologist joins your group upon your return to the real world.

School Mascot

Location: Home Town, School
Trigger: Speak to School Mascot

The School Mascot is standing outside the School, and he admits that he’s currently kinda useless. He says that his ‘school spirit’ will show up when things get more exciting, namely in a battle. The Mascot’s Spirit will thereafter pop in randomly in battle, buff the enemy, and leave again. It’s quite a powerful nuisance early in the game, and can make easier battles a fair bit harder - though on the plus side, all damage inflicted on the Mascot’s Spirit will remain during subsequent battles. You will eventually wear the stupid thing down, in short. Once you have, speak to the School Mascot again to recruit him.


Location: Capital City, Capitol Building
Trigger: Speak to President / Secretary

Once you're inside the Capitol Building, talk to the President to receive your mission, then chat with the Secretary to receive the quest. He says he'll join up after his workload is clear.


Location: Home Town, School; Crystal Beach, lighthouse
Trigger: Speak to Scientist

The Scientist lives on the second floor of the School, but if you ask about recruiting her she’ll say she’s busy in Whisperwood Cemetery. 


Location: Home Town, Residence; Capital City, central square; Junkyard... honestly, lots of places
Trigger: Speak to Superfan

The Superfan is in the first home to the north of the Bakery. She demands you have more citizens on your team before she considers joining. Once you have enough team members (over twenty is probably safe, but I honestly didn't keep count) she'll join up, regardless of where you speak to her.

Sushi Chef

Location: Home Town, northern beach / Restaurant
Trigger: Speak to Sushi Chef

The Sushi Chef is found on a beach south of the School. Speak to him here to trigger the quest. You won’t be able to recruit the Sushi Chef until you can access the southern half of Home Town, however, at which point he’ll be at his restaurant, in the northeast. Speak to him and he’ll ask for five pieces of Fresh Sushi, gained by killing sea creatures.

You can get said creatures from aquatic locations, such as Seabottom, which requires first recruiting the Lifeguard. Clairvoyant Clams and Scuba Fish will both drop Fresh Sushi - problem is, it goes bad after about five minutes, and it's quite difficult to collect all five pieces and then boot it back to the restaurant. You'll make a much easier time of this if you use the School's VR Arena to collect your Fresh Sushi, as it's substantially closer to the restaurant, and you can fight large groups of enemies in quick succession. You must take all five pieces to him at once, so make the battles as quick as you can.


Location: School, Home Town
Trigger: Speak to Teacher

Though you first see him at Moonbucks, the Teacher eventually settles in the School. Ask him about recruitment and he’ll quiz you. The answers for his quiz are as such:

1.) $15
2.) 18
3.) 18
4.) FedUPS
5.) Panjama
6.) Flushmoor

Get 'em all right and he'll join up.

Weather Lady

Location: Home Town, outside Moonbucks; Capital City, Residence
Trigger: Defeat Honey Bear, speak to Weather Lady

The Weather Lady will only appear after you’ve defeated the Honey Bear on Mount Pom-Pom and returned to town. Speak to her to trigger the quest, wherein she’s looking to shelter people who don’t bother to use umbrellas.

Yoga Instructor

Location: Home Town, Gym; Crystal Beach
Trigger: Speak to Yoga Instructor

The Yoga Instructor hangs out at the Gym in the southeast part of Home Town’s lower half. She’ll join you when your accumulated citizens all reach level 20. Simple as that. If you don’t want to make this quest any more difficult, keep your team small until you recruit the Yoga Instructor.