South Park - The Stick of Truth Walkthrough, Side Quests: Vulcan Around

South Park - The Stick of Truth created by Ubisoft.
Images used for educational purposes only.
Location
As you might predict, Kevin Stoley is located in his house. It's found in the Neighborhood, to the east of the Community Center. Check your map for a blue house (not aqua, blue) and you'll find Kevin Stoley's House. It's right near the beginning of the game, really, so the chances are pretty good that this will be your first side quest.
Kevin Stoley's House
- Bust the lamp in the living room for a Broken Sword Hilt, and check the lamp table for $0.27 and some vendor trash. Bust up the items on the next lamp table for a Cog-on-a-Spring and a Fractured Bulb, and check the table for $0.38.
- Bash the books under the stairs to find Crumpled Paper.
- Into the kitchen. Bust up everything you find for a Ceramic ShardShredded Plastic, a Cardboard Tube, and a Broken Sword Hilt. Check the drawers for a Strength Potion, a Fork, and a Cure Potion.
- Head upstairs. Smash the urn for a Ceramic Shard.
- Kevin Stoley's room is up first. Talk to Kevin to receive the quest, Vulcan Around. Bust up his room for Crumpled Paper, and check his drawers for two USB Drives, a MicrochipUnderpants, a Health Potion$2.20, $0.66, a Video Game, and a Klingon Beard.
- Last, the bathroom. Check the drawers in here for Crumpled Paper, a Cardboard Roll, and $0.38, and trash the two flower pots for Ceramic Shards. There's also the usual toilet minigame. Yay.
The Church
- Right, enough raiding some dude's house. Time to track down his missing item: an iPad 2. Kevin claims that he lost it - or he thinks he lost it - by the Church. Leave his house and return to the streets.
- Check your map. The Church is up one street and to the west. Head left to the end of the street and head north towards the Police Station. Continue one screen further west to reach the Church.
- First, deal with the inevitable grouping of elves on the Church's front lawn. They'll be itching for a fight. This is a good place to grind money and experience early in the game, assuming you partook of this quest right away - just hop in and out of the Church each time you beat up the elves to refresh the fight. Go to!
- Next, assuming you haven't been here before, activate the Fast Travel flag sitting by the sidewalk. This will allow you to jump back to Kevin's house immediately after you find the iPad, since there's another flag right by his house.
- And, last, before you search...
- ... check out the Church itself. There's nothing in the hall, but if you check the back-left room inside the Church you'll find an office. Check the drawers for a Faith +1 CD, a Leash, a Health Potion (Large)The Hollywood Beard, a Cure Potion$0.99St. Peter, and a Ghost Patch.
- Right, so where's that iPad? Head back outside and look on the right side of the lawn, where there are usually loitering elves. There's one tree standing a little apart from the rest which you can slip behind. The iPad is back here. Snag it and the hard part of the quest will be complete.
Kevin Stoley's House
- Zip back to Kevin's house with the Timmy flag. Kevin will gratefully friend you for bringing the iPad back. He'll also fork over one Missile of Slowing, which will, eventually, replace your Bow of Sucking. (Assuming you do this quest early in the game. Trust me, it's a good weapon.)

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