South Park - The Stick of Truth Walkthrough, Part Six: Attack the School

South Park - The Stick of Truth created by Ubisoft.
Images used for educational purposes only.
Depending on which side you chose in the previous quest, your allies are cut in half. If you chose to side with the humans, you'll only have Butters and Kenny on your side. If, however, you went with the elves, Jimmy and Stan are your best buds.
School
- You'll begin out front of the School. The main entrance is kinda barricaded at the moment, so make your way to the rear of the School, where you communicated with the Goth Kids so many times.
- They are, of course, back here. And they've beaten up a bunch of kids! Way to be, goths. Collect loot from the bodies, then have Butters heal the Goth kid in front of the fallen rubble if you went with the humans or have Jimmy open the 'Accessible Entrance' leading up to the Faculty Only door if you liked the elves more.
- Kitchen! This is a new one. Check the stoves near the door to start a small fire, then use Cup-a-Spell to blow up the oven. This will knock the Donkeytron Chinpokomon out onto the floor. Snag it.
- Have a quick look around for other items. There's a Speed Potion in a nearby cupboard, as well as a bunch of vendor trash, and a bag sitting beside a table contains $0.57 and yet more vendor trash. Go out the door on the left side.
- Now you're in the cafeteria. Check the cold storage cabinet behind the serving glass for a Power Potion and Fish Sticks. Keep running right to find a nearly-blocked closet. Inside are two Health Potions (Small), a Chef's Skewer, and Chef's Old PO Box Key. Poor Chef.
- (If you use the PO Box Key in the Post Office later you'll find Violet Dye, $3.50, a Fro Wig, and Iron Skewers. Appropriate.)
- Leave the cafeteria and enter the hallways. The Snappy Snacks machine next to you serves as a vendor, if you need some refreshment. Check the bodies for loot (the kid to the far left has a Basketball you'll want), and reenter the cafeteria through the In door. You'll find a lunchbox containing a Strength Potion and a Fork.
- Now for the defenses. A kid to the left will spray you with water if you try to pass the barricade. Use a Sneaky Squeaker to bypass the barricade and either get the jump on the defenders beyond or rush by. You can also shoot the water hose beside them, then shoot down the light overhead to electrify the floor and take them out without a fight.
- There's another barricade ahead. Smash the wall grating beneath the South Park Cows sign and head inside. Use Alien Probe to zip up to the top of the vent, bash through, and use Cup-a-Spell to blast the torches above the barricade. Now you can get through. Fight off any enemies still remaining.
- (If you want to bypass all of the enemies here, you can enter the vent near the first barricade and bypass the first wave of kids entirely.)
- Into the hallways! There's a barricade to your left. It has another torch, but a fan prevents Cup-a-Spell from working. You can stop it by triggering a sprinkler above the fan, then using Cup-a-Spell. You can also hit the vent above this area, granting you access to another vent system which will take you over the barricade instead. If you go up into the vents you'll find the Poodlesaurus Chinpokomon, a bag containing a South Park Cows PatchWhat Happened To My School?, a Calculator, a Mana Potion, a Health Potion (Large), and a Strength Potion. There's also an alien eye that can warp you onto a nearby pipe where you'll find a Snowball Patch. Going through the vent won't get you past the barricade, but you can take out a kid below by hitting the yellow-and-red wires with a ranged weapon.
- Into the basement! A cut scene follows, and things get very weird. Badness happens. Zombies!
Nazi Zombie Kommandant
Hmmmm. This is getting out of hand. The Kommandant is accompanied by two Oberleutnants, and all three are pretty tough. Nevertheless, this ain't that bad a fight. Defend your way through the initial attacks, then pull out multi-hitting ranged or melee strikes that will chew up the armour of the Oberleutnants. Go after each enemy collectively until you're out of targets. All three are capable of grossing out your characters, which can be very annoying from a healing standpoint, so don't hesitate to heal when your turn comes up. All three are weak to fire, like most zombies, and they're also open to status ailments like bleeding and stunning. Avoid attempts to gross them out and you're all good.
- You'll get a Holy Hammer of Smiting for beating the Kommandant, and you can check his body afterward for a Daywalker's Patch. Woo. Go through the next door.
- Oh dear. This is probably bad. Climb up onto the catwalk in the next section. There's a box at the end containing $1.72, a Health Potion (Large), a Mana Potion, and some vendor trash. You can now throw something at the water wheel up here to stop the flow below and bash the pipe on the ground floor to get through and face the zombies... (make sure you deactivate the electricity by hitting the nearby switch, behind the busted crate...)
- ... or you can take the easy way out. Bust up the vent cover beside the box and climb through. Open up the other end to take out one of the kids below. From above, hurl something at the electrical box to create a fire. Use Cup-a-Spell to set it ablaze when the patrolling kid below is in range. Regardless of how you do this, check the bodies for some nice loot, including Necromancer Robes. Sweeeeet.
- Check the Boiler Room. Inside is a box containing $0.69 and some vendor trash. Also in here is a petri dish, overflowing with green goo, that's important to the Big Game Huntin' With Jimbo side quest. Head back outside.
- Run right to the next set of stairs. Bust through the crate to reach a bag containing a Battery Label$2.20, and some vendor trash.
- Up the stairs. Loot the bodies, and check the lockers near the Exit for Clover Facepaint$0.40, and a bunch of vendor trash. Go through the next door.
- You're now in the main hall of the school, and Cartman's forces have gathered here in earnest. Danged Butters. Avoid the flying, fiery bags as best you can, and make your way to the north. There's an alien eye which will allow you to zip up to the top floor. Check the bag here for a Health Potion (Small), a Cure Potion, a Mana Potion (Small), and some saleable stuff. Then slide down the banner on your right.
- Butters, silly Butters, will resume the assault on the right side of the room. Wait for him to set the upturned white table on fire, then use Cup-a-Spell to blow it away. This will take out one of the defenders on the other side. Beat up the rest in a brawl. Nothing too terribly difficult - you've been fighting kids of this kind since the beginning of the game.
- After Kyle charges in, man the catapult on the right (the one Butters was using) to set the barricade at the entrance on fire. Then blow it away with Cup-a-Spell. DogPoo will come in and open the way deeper into the School. Lead the charge!
- Oh noes! Former allies come to blows!
Fight the Humans - Butters
Butters is quite a tough little hombre, despite how much you pick on him. He utilizes all of his moves from earlier in the game, and is capable of targeting one or both of your characters - and he'll usually do over 1,000 HP of damage if you don't defend properly. OW. That said, the most annoying aspect of Butters is his high armor, which he'll build up right at the beginning. Chip away at his layers of defense with repeated attacks, then either use special moves to bypass his armor score or get rid of it altogether. Try to wipe him out before he heals, or this could be a long fight.
Fight the Elves - Stan
The warrior! Stan will begin the fight by summoning Sparky, so you'll have to face both. Even though Sparky is fairly weak and an obvious first target, don't go after the dog! Take out Stan! If you attack Sparky Stan will gain a ton of buffs which make his plentiful attacks even crazier than they already are. Chip away at his defense a bit so your normal attacks have more weight, then lay into Stan with all your might. He's all about attack, and with Sparky's help is a bit tougher than Butters, but not by a whole lot.
- Check Butters' body for Butters' Hammer of Storms and a Sword Patch once he's down, then climb the stairs. Or, if you fought Stan, you'll find a Slashing Blade of the Ranger instead of the Hammer.
- There's a bunch of kids picking on DogPoo. You can ignore them and run past or attack and save him. One of them has a Necromancer Hood, so it's worth the extra fight. Check the locker north of the fight for Moon Facepaint, $0.50, and a bunch of other stuff. Check along the right of the adjoining hall to find a locker containing the Pterdaken Chinpokomon, then go left.
- You'll see two kids fighting two other kids. Take out the humans to earn Bill and Fosse's friend requests. Check the locker beside them for a Revive Potion, a falsetto Wig and a bunch of saleable items, as well. The Boys bathroom here isn't terribly special.
- Continue left. There are two classes in the next hallway; check the Fifth Grade class first. Talk to the rat in here for the Lemmiwinks friend request, then check the drawers and cupboards for a Totally Metal Mohawk, a Drill Bit, a Tribal Tattoo, and a bunch of vendor trash.
- This is it. Return to the hall... and enter the Fourth Grade classroom. Now the big decision. Do you raise your banner on the side of the elves? Or do you return to the humans? Smack the leader you wish to betray to begin combat!
- (Also, before you choose, check the room for a chest containing a Ninja Sticker, a Health Potion (Large), a Mana Potion, a Sword Breaker, and some trash. Check the filing cabinet at the rear of the class for a Health Potion (Small) and some more vendor trash.)
Cartman
The Wizard King himself! Even though you only have one character - namely yourself - Cartman's not that tough to beat. He boasts a few elemental attacks that don't do a ton of damage, and he can heal himself with Cheesy Poofs. Woo. Sicken him to eliminate his healing capabilities, then whittle down his health. Eventually you'll have to prove your mettle against his wizardly powers; pound the indicated button until he goes down. Huzzah! Victory!
Kyle
Or the Elven King! Whichever, dude. Kyle isn't much different from Cartman - he hits a bit harder, and his attacks are slightly tougher to defend against in time, but he won't heal himself. Use basically the same strategy as Cartman. You'll also have to pound a key if you fight Kyle, with the same results.
- A cut scene ensues in the aftermath of the grand battle. The real enemy appears! Fiendish! (I knew it!)

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