Fallout 4 created by Bethesda Game Studios.
Images used for educational purposes only.

Prerequisites: Explore the Commonwealth
Trigger: Speak to Theodore Collins
Reward: 200 XP

- In order to trigger Mystery Meat you must first travel to Longneck Lukowski’s Cannery. The Cannery  is located along the northeastern seaboard of the Commonwealth, a decent walk south of Salem. You may find it while exploring, but it’s more likely to appear through an interaction with an NPC somewhere on the road. I, for example, met a dude suffering from indigestion on the dam near Oberland Station. The NPC will stick the Cannery on your map.

- The Cannery looks like it’s sitting on its own at first glance, but it’s on the edge of a burnt-out, fairly spacious community. There’s very little of interest in the remains of the houses nearby, and you may run into trouble in the form of Mirelurks / a Sentry Bot / both. Be cautious. (I didn’t actually meet the Sentry Bot, but I found its remains, so… yeah. Tough Mirelurks are tough.)

- Have a look around the rear of the Cannery and you’ll find stairs up to the roof. There’s a Novice locked storage room up top. There’s mainly junk inside, but if you look to the left of the door you can find an Expert locked safe.

- Pop in the main entrance. A dude named Theodore is inside, arguing with a trader. Once the trader leaves, speak to Theodore and press him in conversation about he mentions Molerats. Offer to get rid of them for Theodore to trigger the quest. You can also purchase some rather pathetic things from Theodore, if you’re… so inclined.

- The Cannery is a disgusting mess, and there’s not a whole lot to see, despite the size of the factory floor. The only area of interest is the office on the upper floor, in the south. You can find a trunk in here with a few items of use, and beside it is a desk with an issue of Tales of a Junktown Jerky Vendor and a Barter Bobblehead. There’s also a locked security cage up here with an Automatic Combat Shotgun inside, if you don’t already have something better.

- Suggestion: Before you proceed any further, get some armour that will protect against Rads. You’ll be wading through a lot of yucky water in the next area. Power Armor is a good choice overall. I would also suggest making a save outside the Cannery, as you’re about to get stuck for a while, with no way out.

- In the north of the cannery floor is an elevator that will take you into the basement by hitting a nearby button. Get to the bottom, however, and you’ll no longer be able to use said elevator, because someone turned it off. Ass. The terminal at the bottom can’t turn the elevator back on, but it will open a nearby security door.

- There are two doors ahead. The door straight ahead opens into a storage room populated by a few Radroaches. There’s a Tesla Arc inside, but the chances are good a Radroach will set it off before you enter. Aside from some shelf items and a Chemistry Station there’s not much inside. The door on the right leads to a room of Feral Ghouls, which may provide some subtle hints as to what’s going on here. Kill ‘em.

- You can’t reach the upper catwalks in this Ghoul room unless you have Power Armor with jet propulsion (and if you do you’ll set off a bomb), so take a left through the busted wall if that’s not the case. There are two more Feral Ghouls in the sewer area beyond. Take them out, then use the pipes crossing the small culvert to the north side of the room and go straight ahead. This leads to another room of Ghouls. Clear them out. If you check the wall on your right you can see a Glowing One staggering around, and if it spots you it will trek to this room to fight. You can also shoot it through the gap if you have good aim.

- The rest of this area is a sewer trek and battle against Ghouls, more or less. The rooms don’t contain anything of interest beyond what the Ghouls are holding, and there isn’t really any room to explore. The Ghouls themselves can be quite dangerous if you attract them en masse, so move slowly and take them down one-at-a-time.

- Eventually you’ll wind up on catwalks. If you go left you’ll find a Turret that will catch you if you headed right, so take it out before it spins up and starts shooting. To the right is a generator with a Fusion Core; watch out for hidden mines nearby. The adjacent room leads to the first room where you saw Ghouls, and you’ll be up on the catwalks.

- Be careful walking along these catwalks, as there are Laser Tripwires set up that are physically difficult to reach and disarm. At the end of the catwalk you’ll find stairs; partway up is a Turret. Destroy it, check behind you for a duffel bag full of ammo, and ascend. You’ll find the horrible truth waiting at the top, as well as a chained door back to the main Cannery floor.

- Theodore will set his Cannery Robots to kill you, but the poor things only seem to want to run away, so… kill or ignore. (They did for me, anyway.) Theodore himself is holed up in the office where you found the magazine and Bobblehead earlier, and should present no danger to you. Do enough damage and he’ll start talking, however, which leaves you with two options, both of which will end the quest:
  • Kill him anyway. You’ll find Longneck Lukowski’s Key on his body.
  • Agree to his proposition. Do this and he’ll give you 100 Bottlecaps, as well as a discount on his vending options. You can, of course, still kill him after this to grab the Key.

- (And for the record, I have no idea what door / safe / whatever this Key opens. I assume it was the Key for the Cannery itself, and Theodore just found it somewhere. Either way, your quest is done.)