South Park - The Stick of Truth created by Ubisoft.
Images used for educational purposes only.
South Park
- Head to Photo-Dojo after speaking to Kyle back at the Elven Forest. Speak to the photographer and he'll ask if you can try something else on for the photo. Keep agreeing to his demands and, uh, you'll get into a fight. He's easy to beat up. You'll earn a Passport for your troubles. Yeesh.
- Check the storage cabinet to your right before leaving. Inside is $0.10, a High Voltage Warning Label, and some vendor trash.
Reaching Canada
- Passport primed. Now you need to infiltrate foreign soil. Head to the Farm.
- As you've wandered South Park you've doubtless run into packs of rats. These little fiends block your passage into the Woods surrounding South Park, and can only be dispelled with the use of Dragon Shout or a similar power. Get rid of the rats along the dirt path to the northeast of the Farm and head on in.
- It's easy to get lost in these Woods, but Kyle pretty much spelled out how to reach Canada earlier: go north, then north, then north, then north. You may run into enemies along the way, so be prepared to fight.
- Border crossing! Approach the guard with your Passport ready. He'll let you through.
- Let me start by saying that, as a resident of Canada, I am truly proud of the 8-bit map in this next section. You have no idea.
- Head north. Ottawa's up first. Note that you need Canadian money to buy anything here; American currency is no good.
- To your right as you enter is a shop. You can't buy anything here yet, eh.
- The Ottawa Clinic is north of here. The woman will heal you up. If you contract Dire AIDS while fighting the enemies of Canada, you can come here to remove the status ailment. I recommend this unless you're trying for the Outpatient achievement, as Dire AIDS will sap your health.
- West of the Clinic is the Bank of Canada. You can exchange American currency for Canadian here. You'll earn $24.80 Canadian for every $20 American you fork over.
- South of the Bank is a house. Go upstairs for a fun little easter egg. Riffing on RPGs!
- To the north is the Government. (Also known as parliament.) Mash up the urns and statues in here for some vendor trash, check the chest in the east wing for a Joy Buzzer, a Mana Potion (Large) and some more vendor trash, and approach the Prince and Princess of Canada. They can't perform the translation you desire. You'll have to head elsewhere. This will trigger a new quest: O Canada. Leave the building through the side exit. (Souvenir Photos!)
O Canada
- Leave Ottawa. To the north you'll see a spider web; you can set Poutine here to summon the Canadian Barking Spider, part of Big Game Huntin' With Jimbo. There's also an island you can sail to, upon which sits a chest containing a Barbarian Mullet, Frozen Maple Syrup, a Cure Potion, and a Halth Potion (Large), as well as assorted vendor trash. (I love Kraft Dinner!) Beware the Dire Wolves while exploring - they're as tough as the Prince said. Exploit their weakness to fire.
- Head to Winnipeg, a short ways down the road.
- Another small town. Check out the shop, if you want, as well as the body to the east. Speak to the Earl of Winnipeg once you're done wandering. He'll make a demand for your help: kill off the Dire Bears of Winnipeg. They're all grouped in the northeast corner of town, and you'll fight all three at once. They're slightly tougher than Dire Wolves, but otherwise identical.
- Take their Dire Bear Pelts back to the Earl. He'll send you back to Ottawa - and you'll earn the Earl of Winnipeg's friend request. Oooo, bonus.
- Speak to the Prince back in Ottawa. He'll give you a new quest: kill the Bishop of Banff. Oh lord.
- Further west. Banff is out in the open.
- Check around for, yes, another shop, as well as the church of the Bishop of Banff. Check the left room in the Church to find a pair of urns; under the left urn is a plate. Step on it to open the room to the right. Inside is a chest containing a Discus of Bleeding, a Ranger Patch, a Power Potion (Large), a Revive Potion, and some vendor trash.
- Speak to the Bishop. No, strike that, assault the Bishop. It's on!
Bishop of Banff
He's got a lot of HP, but the Bishop is pretty easy. He cycles through three attacks, two of which cause damage, the third of which heals a big chunk of his HP. A big chunk... but probably not big enough. The Bishop's only dangerous if he manages to gross out a character with his first attack, as the second will be nigh-on lethal thereafter. If you did block, it does normal damage. Pelt him with your strongest attacks - you'll have basically six hits before he heals. That should be more than enough to wallop him good. He also doesn't heal all his health, so, yeah. Not that hard.
- After the fight you can either finish off the Bishop or pretend he's dead and accept his... proof that you killed him. If you leave him alive you'll earn the Bishop of Banff's friend request.
- Return to Ottawa and speak to the Prince. He'll refuse your request to see the Minister of Montreal - but his wife will give you the Princess's Letter and send you off to Vancouver. You'll also earn the Prince's friend request.
- Almost done... Vancouver's in the southwest.
- Check out the shop, then head into the large building to the north. Bash through the wall in the northwest corner of the building to find a chest containing a Lumberjack Beard, Serrated Axe of Rending, a Barbarian Helmet, a Strength Potion, a Power Potion (Large) and a Dire Heart.
- Speak to the Duke of Vancouver. He'll insist you check with a pair of monks that live in the southeast corner of town.
- Head south and cross the water. Yep, the monks are in. Use Dragonshout, Cup-a-Spell, and Sneaky Squeaker to impress Terrance and Philip. They will teach you Nagasaki using the standard mini game. You doubtless know how to pull this off by now. Complete!
Caverns of Quebec
- Head to the small cave north of Ottawa. Use Nagasaki on the grey wall ahead to destroy it.
- Battle ahead. You'll be attacked by two Dire Bears, two Dire Wolves, and two Snakes. That's a lot of powerful enemies. All-hitting moves are recommended, so Cartman's fire attacks are a good idea. Barring that, be very, very careful with your blocks, and take out enemies one at a time. This is a dangerous fight, so a summon may be in order.
- Check the bodies afterward for a Barbarian Patch and a frozen Skull Patch, then head into the next room. There's a chest nearby containing Barbarian Armor, a Speed Potion, and some vendor trash. That done, speak to the gallant gentleman in the south. This is the Minister of Montreal, and he'll finally translate the stupid document. Once he runs off you'll earn the Minister of Montreal and the Princess of Canada's friend requests.
- All done! Flee this strange and horrifying land! Back to South Park!